Manage Family Conflicts about Sexual/Gender Diversity

This booklet describes what to do when your family is experiencing conflicts about sexual/gender diversity. It is designed for all family members, especially parents/caregivers of LGBTQIA+ children, as well as LGBTQIA+ individuals who feel disconnected from their family. We also include support for siblings and extended family members. We’ll describe how LGBTQIA+ individuals must often create their own “family of choice” due to rejection from their family of origin. To promote family resilience and flourishing, we’ll describe how to co-create family safety, common shared goals, and connection. 

Readers will learn how to use their mind-body to reduce their emotional distress (self-regulate) to respond more effectively to conflicts and stress. A summary of the peacemaking protocol used for this book project will also be provided. This protocol describes how to dialogue and hold one viewpoint in mind at a time (yours or another’s) and develop the skills to hold two (yours and another’s) or more viewpoints together and how this empathy relates to security and growth. The ability to consider differing viewpoints is essential for family members who want to resolve conflicts assertively, including those related to sexual/gender diversity. Without these experiences of mutual care and understanding, families begin to stop sharing themselves with each other, begin to hide from one another, and eventually splinter. 

We hope the ideas, skills, and experiences presented in this resource help family members across political divides find strength together while retaining their  individual differences regarding sexual/gender diversity.